Last Practice

This morning, I had my last practice in the shala. It was somewhat uneventful. My practice itself was okay. Not one of my best, but certainly not one of my worst. My breath did not feel strong. Three of my good Mysore friends were all  directly in front of me, and that felt special. By the time I finished my practice and came out of the changing room, Sharath had already left. I was not able to say goodbye to him. To be honest, I was somewhat relieved. His absence helped me to avoid a potentially awkward goodbye--Should I just bow to him? Should I lower to the ground and touch his feet? What should I say to him when I leave? I do not feel like I am missing out on something important by not being able to say goodbye.  I hope that I will see Sharath again soon--here in Mysore or somewhere else in the world. Leaving the shala was sad--like saying goodbye to a close friend.  Yesterday, during chanting, I was rather emotional, especially while Lakshmish was explaining the meaning of some the chants we had been working on this past month. I was looking around the shala with awe and respect.  This lineage and this practice have occupied such an important part of my life for almost the past decade. The shala has almost a mythic feeling in that I have heard so many stories and seen so many photos and videos since I started the practice. Being able to come here for a month to practice has been something extremely significant for me. I have devoted so much energy and effort to the practice over the years, and I have shuffled so much of my life in order to be able to come here for this month. My initial reflection is that this journey has been more than worth all the time, money, effort and energy. I will not say that coming here has been the culmination of my practice. I am not certain what the culmination of my practice might be, but being in Mysore and practicing with Sharath in the shala with all these amazing students has been meaningful in ways that I could not have imagined. I need to process the entire month in greater depth, and I will write another entry about my thoughts in the next few days. Right now, my general feeling is that I recognize the importance of this practice in my life and the lives of so many other people here in Mysore and across the globe. Some of us are annoying. Some of us have problems with ego. Some of us have personality disorders. Some of us are hopelessly lost. Some of us, too, are kind, humble, generous, loving, welcoming, compassionate, and helpful. This practice binds us all together and lifts us up in some way and adds purpose to our lives beyond the shala and off the mat.  The practice resonates throughout our lives and provides structure and purpose. I love asana, and I am grateful to have a body that allows me to do lots of fun postures. What I know now more than before coming here is the asanas are not at all the purpose of this practice. They are just a tool that allow us to assimilate, in whatever small ways that we can, the beauty and wisdom of Yoga.